Susan Font's Blog

A precious friend almost lost her 45 year old husband to several heart attacks in one night last Sunday night. 5 children in toe.  It was not his time to go.  The legacy however is one that he can leave that says he would give the shirt off his back quite literally.  One family whose sacrificial giving is just that – sacrificial.  I’m blessed to have come across a number of people like this in my life.  Quite a number at that.  They love hard.

Coming from a background that had so much conflict to it, is precisely why it breaks my heart when brothers and sisters in Christ can’t or won’t or refuse to resolve.  Thankfully, I haven’t seen much of that.  I have attended funerals where there were hundreds, and I have attended a funeral where 3 including myself were present.

Be vulnerable.  Love hard. Walk away if the situation is dangerous, but let Him lead.  Forgive quickly. (That’s been a personal “toughy”, but He’s making my skin thicker in the sense to move on  immediately!) There’s just so much to do and so little time to do it in.

Every thing, every situation, and everyone is not for us to be involved in or with in this life.  The world is a pretty big place. I hope to know when to enter and when to exit.  I just want to get the “legacy” right.

Haven’t blogged for some time. Some are saying “And you should have kept it that way,” some are saying, “Great, looking forward to it!”  (I know for a fact there are 3 that enjoy it, not including my husband and 2 dogs.)  I’ve had these thoughts on my mind for the longest time.  They pull at my heartstrings.  They boggle my mind and cause me to waiver between sadness and anger—none of which I’m feeling now.  There is absolutely NO ONE I have in mind regarding the subject I’m broaching.  While doing my devotions this morning, as has happened in the past, I got the “go ahead” leading. It’s not for me to look for your response or lack thereof.  I’m writing, you’re reading.  What you do thereafter is completely up to you.

Ok,  so not only did I think it was time for this—and please understand—I’m in my 25th year of being a wicked sinner saved by grace. Please note that every word of that title is present tense.  I’m still a wicked sinner (Isaiah 64:6).  I’m still and always will be saved (Ephesians 4:30, John 10: 28 & 29, Hebrews 10:10 )  and this is purely by His grace (Ephesians 2: 8&9). Along with that title—the one I actually prefer to use is the one my Master says: Born-Again.  Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Verily verily I say unto thee, except a man be born-again, He cannot see the kingdom of God.”—John 3:3

What is interesting is that “one of those rare moments” happened where I  didn’t even consciously ask God in prayer WHERE in His Word to draw from. I simply opened to the Chapter of Matthew 23—and the verse FOUND ME.  Verse 25 “Woe unto you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.”

Here’s the deal:  on certain days, maybe for just moments, that’s us.  That’s anyone of us who are of the household of faith. Oops, 5 just deleted me from Facebook—that’s ok—I still love you anyway.  “Who does she think she is?” Not anyone in particular, but I am one of His. “Is she preaching?” In the eyes of some, maybe—but no, scripturally I don’t believe a preacher is a female’s role—WHOA—10 more just deleted me from FaceBook—that’s ok—I still love you anyway.  I’m blogging, and you are reading.  Change the page—don’t like the music? Hit skip—change the station, shut it off, seriously—but don’t whine—it gets old.

The dress, the music, the tv selections, the friends, the places you go to—all line up scripturally.  You know what?  PRAISE GOD—I mean praise Him!! Your outward is in excellent scriptural condition. You have buffeted your body—you’ve kept it under subjection…at the very least outwardly.  How’s it goin’ inwardly?   Yeah…you know where I’m going.

You’re angry, you’re bitter, you wait for someone that you don’t particularly like to fall so you can use one of many electronic devices to subtly or not so subtly fire away.  You shake hands with your brethren, sing “What a Friend We have in Jesus,” and “Isn’t the Love of Jesus Something Wonderful,”  but aside from that…

Now maybe a good time to mention that every scripture reference I post on FB, and every blog I write is nothing short of a reminder for myself to get my heart right and FAST!!!  I know what bitterness left to itself for years, and anger and being unable to forgive and rage leads to…just more of the same.  I know these mindsets that are actually spiritual strongholds that have to be worked at, and if you give up and accept them—they win, and the demonic hold they possess grows.  Uncomfortable language.  Very uncomfortable.

But the joy that’s possible and the actual freedom in Christ is very comfortable and sweet and gentle and peaceful. How I wish I could have that focus every minute of every day.  My striving that occurs to accomplish certain heights in my flesh would take a back seat!  It would for you too!

Don’t despair.  Don’t give up.  As much as there is that roaring lion who seeks to devour—yes, even while we’re as good as gold—well I’m sure that’s most of you—I think my check box might be a “N/A”—he wants you and I and our families to be in a most miserable state—that along with each other—particularly so that our circles of influence read and relay a  mixed message. A message that not only does not add up, but completely contradicts.   I love my sweet friend’s saying—at least I heard it from her—“never exaggerate your own importance.”  While that is true—the eyes of the world are on us.  I pray not to have an “epic fail”—terminology I’ve heard my teen use.  I’m not even fond of having a whole bunch of “little fails”—I know—failures.  But they will happen.  The question remains how long will you and I hold on to their devastating effects and be “ok” with them?

I’ve probably referenced more  scripture in this blog than I have in others. Ephesians 4:26—yes, you have to look it up. I missed my morning  time alone in God’s Word recently for the first time in a long time—IT MADE A DIFFERENCE!! Not such a good one, I might add.

I’ll end with Susie ramble:  You’re asking “Could I tell the difference?? Mmm…probably not.  A Senior Saint recently said to me :” You know…we are not La-Di-Da.”  I responded with “I’m serious, I’m just not somber.”  That was a relatively quick conversation.  Knowing full well what unresolved conflict leads to, and having cried for about a decade – not really too far from an exaggeration – I’ve probably undershot the time frame – let’s just say this:  La – non-negotiable, moot point – I’m La.  Di – On occasion; timing is everything, but Di has it’s proper place. Da – Dad used to look me straight in the face and say “Well, La-di-da.” So….

Sue

Several months ago, my husband very gently sat me down and with a calm voice and that of a friend who loves me like no other, told me very honestly, “You need to press through.”   This morning in “My Utmost for His Highest,” I read for May 12th (Yes, I know this isn’t May 12th ) “Is there anywhere where you are not at home with God? Let God press though in that particular circumstance until you gain Him, and life becomes the simple life of a child.”  Prior to reading that – I thought on my couch this morning, “When did my thought life become so crowded on such a regular basis?”  I’m not talking about fulfilling responsibilities and execution of priorities to our best – I’m talking about trying to “figure out” what we can’t possibly figure out, and getting “caught” there.

In Matt. 19:14 Jesus is telling His disciples “Suffer little children and forbid them not to come unto me.” My understanding is that He was not just referring to “little children” but instructing adult believers in Him to come to Him with a child-like faith, and that no one or any circumstances should prevent  that. No presumptuous ideas or preconceived expectations of what to ask Him for, just being with our Daddy who loves us, and being blessed simply by being in His presence!   I Cor.13:11 talks about putting away childish things – but again we know there’s a difference between “child-like” and “childish.”

Those two behaviors are so different and yet they cross over from time to time.  It’s funny (but not really amusing) how we can go from trusting God and laying everything at His feet with sweet child-like, uninhibited release, to taking “whatever” back, clenching our fists, digging in our heels and demanding that this situation (whatever it is) change immediately!! There is a time to stand and be unshakeable. I KNOW I’d rather have those times fueled by His power, than my fury.   I believe a lot of fury we experience is fueled by arrogance – other than the times we are allowed to be righteously angry.  If you’re angry a lot, or get angry easily – something is wrong.  If you’re buttons get pushed by the wind blowing, something is wrong.

I want His sweet peace. I desire to press through until He is in every situation.  You know the answer may be right, but the timing is wrong.  He needs to be in the timing – there’s an area I need to submit to more.  If He’s not in the timing, then is it fair to say we haven’t given Him the situation completely?  I want Him so much in every situation that even if I never get on the swings in the park again, I have that “feeling” of “Not a care in the world, because I’m in His hands.” That doesn’t seem to be such a bad goal.  Beautiful bird singing right outside our office window now.  Thank you Lord for allowing him to serenade me too!

Hurray! Dec. 31st is finally here!  Just wanted to say thank you for sending me comments off line or off “this line” about blogging.  I’m encouraged to continue. 

“This was a life of no distinction.  No successes, only tries.  Yet gazing down on this unlovely one, there was love in Heaven’s Eyes.” – In Heaven’s Eyes  – That was my theme song for the earliest part of my walk.  I’m not so sure I could name a song for where I am right now – there would be too many!

Was SO encouraged the other night by a young man attending Word of Life in NY.  There were many details pointing out that this gentleman is intently listening for God’s direction, even to the point of praying “God, do something different.” I found that to be a little disconcerting at first!  It frightened me! Hadn’t God shaken up my personal paradigm over the years enough?? But when my flesh settled down and got into agreement with my spirit – I LOVED THAT IDEA!! “ God, please do something different.  Something you’ve never done before.” 

A couple of potential speaking dates on IT have come up for my husband. He along with numerous others have been unemployed for a year.  While searching for employment, he has recently written a book on Systems Life Cycle Development, is preparing it for Kindle, and then portions will be made available for Apps.  I have just dreadfully undershot that explanation, but for a non-techie – that’ all I got!  

Networking  – going out to established meetings for the absolute intent of meeting strangers – finding common ground – obtaining and passing along information for the greater good (hopefully) seems to be the MO for finding employment now. Perhaps not even an established means of employment, but a variety of income producing scenarios.

Years ago, I loved being an Account Exec. where I would” pound the pavement” in Manhattan, going to various companies in huge skyscraper type buildings to try and “sell” temps.  That first day was killer – came back with 2 accounts.  Yeah – allow me to go back to 5 minutes of the Glory Days.  Ok I’m done.  Point is, MUCH is different with the economy.  I don’t know how Personnel agencies are doing now – but they may actually be making a strong comeback.  Sadly, it is easier to hire someone for a year without benefits then invest into a stranger.   God willing that will also change.  There are however those who just need a temp job. 

“Lord, do something different.” Well, sounds like a good provocation to trusting Him more.  I want to – I know many of you want to as well. Maybe that’s a way we need to pray for each other more than anything else.  Lord, please help_______, to trust You more.  Please never hesitate to pray for me that way.  Do you know what “damage” we could do as Believers to a lot of “strong holds” if we prayed that way for each other??  A LOT!! Would you take a moment and do that for anyone that comes to your mind and heart?

Happy & Blessed New Year, With Love From Raleigh, NC

It hadn’t been since the days more than a decade ago, that I had felt the kind of oppression that I’ve felt this year.  Was it that I hadn’t been trusting Christ the way that I had learned to over the past 24 years?  Was I in some kind of unbeknown sin that had caused a chasm between my Savior and I? I think a huge chunk of the answer is simply “vertical.”

At first moving down to North Carolina,  caught me very off guard. I’ve said before “physically” leaving friends and family was a bit of a “crisis” for me. Somewhat embarrassed because there was no devastating illness that had taken us here, and for me to get “that down in the dumps” was wrong.(?)  A very kind friend recently had said “Everybody’s “hard” is hard for them, and can’t be compared to anyone else’s “hard.” Makes sense.

There was a whole lot more going on this year than me pining for the past.  The details of this year are unimportant at this point.  My closest friends knew enough to have prayed.  My Closest Friend, Savior, and Redeemer knows ALL.  It’s at His feet these details have to stay.  It’s at His feet I have to leave any concerns for what this new year may hold.  It’s at His feet I need to be able to give thanks IN these situations that have come up, and it is IN this area that I  have fallen short for sure.  So yes, the trust factor is where I’ve come up short.  If I believe what I say that I can trust Him with my life, than why haven’t I been able to trust Him enough to have had fear to the degree in which I’ve had it??

Vertical.  I haven’t put into practice enough of  Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” (Friends and family think something is wrong if I am quiet for too long. Oh boy. – Does it mean I now have to be serious all the time and were sackcloth and ashes – no)  Psalm 4:4 “Stand in awe and sin not”: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still . Selah”  Vertical. The prayers and answers have to happen vertically – straight up and down between He & I. Asking for prayer is fine – “bear ye one another’s burdens.” At some point though, don’t we need to shut up (ok, hush our hearts) so we can hear the answers clearly?

I’m going to wrap up with Psalm 37 : 3– 7, 23-24 -  I’m not going to write out the psalm, but keep my eyes and heart fixed on it for awhile. Ask the Holy Spirit to “Hush my heart and open my eyes and understanding to His truths. “  If I can do that, than moving forward is a given.  I can have hope for 2011.  I can have hope for today.